Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later that someone would post what a mean mother I am to Charlie and that maybe I shouldn't have had him. When I showed Richard the comment, he chuckled and said, "Well, if you don't want to be criticized, don't put it out there."
And you know what? He's completely right. But I only came to the realization after I got over the fact that he didn't immediately come to my defense (how dare he not defend his queen...). But he knows me. He knows what kind of mother I am. And better yet, he knows what kind of person I am so to him, the comment didn't even register on his radar.
My blog isn't called "The best parent evah!" nor is it called "Mother knows best <insert hearts and exclamation points here>" It's almost the opposite. It's more of all the mistakes I've made and will continue to make as I journey through this road of motherhood. I will tell you this, I am a stern mother and it's something I struggle with. all. the. time. Not just to Charlie but to the girls as well. Just ask my friends. They'll tell you. But I don't think I've ever considered myself as a "cruel" mother. I feel horrible and guilty after I have to punish any of my kids. It's one of the worst feelings in the world. It makes me remember another thing that Richard once said to me after an especially hard day with the girls. He said that anyone can be a parent, but it's really hard to be a good one. None of my kids were born easy. My mother would disagree because she obviously doesn't remember the all the times we would have to discipline them. To her, they were just born that way. Yep, they came out of the womb being good listeners and respectful and kind and most of all, EASY.
I don't write a lot about the mushy stuff but they do occur, believe it or not. I don't write about how sad I'll be when I will forget how Charlie's tiny hands feel in mine. Or how he curls up into my chest when I lay down with him for his naps. Or the look on his face when I pick him up at preschool. Or the fact that my kiss, and only mine, can make his boo-boos feel better.
I guess this layout kinda says what I feel:
I am a work in progress.
The End.
